Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Last sunday I attend a concert at vjc,
there was this song that was played that
captivated me. Last Carnival By Norihiro Tsuru.
A sad song featuring a group of clowns,
getting outcast by people just because
that people could not accept them.
As the clowns was being chase away,
they perform for the people once more,
the last perfomance, the last carnival.
As they were performing,
they knew that after that carnival,
all of them will be going different way,
however they try to be happy,
and enjoy their last carnival together.
And after that, all was left is fading memories....
Alright beside that, let's go back to my life.
Life is S-U-C-K-Y.(FULLSTOP)
Why?
It's Because,
a) I hate my class.
b) I hate the HoD of my school.
c) I hate my form teacher.
d) I Suck At Volleyball.
e) I Do Not Have Any Friend
In My CCA. , They Don't
Understand Me Anyway.
f) My Old Cliques Are All
In Poly.
g) I Getting Back My Childhood
Nightmares Again
h) I Am Still Living On Fake
Happiness.
i) I Think I Fail My General Paper.
j) I Lost Track Of My Dreams.
k) I Can't Help My Friends.
l) I Can't Seem To Do Anything Right.
Basically, I Suck, So Life Suck Simple As That.
So You People Out There. STUDY HARD.
NURTURE YOUR TALENT.
SO YOU WILL NOT BE SUCKY
THUS YOUR LIFE WILL NOT SUCKY TOO.
And Lastly A Sad Fact I Want Admit.
I Don't Need Sympathizers To Be My Friend.
If You Are My Friend Because You Pity Me.
Fours Words For You.
No Thanks, Get Lost.
For People Who Think You Are Great,
Wonderful, Perfect, A Nature-born Leader.
Well Guess What, You In For Some Real
Shit, Yea, All The Gangs Stuff, Woooo,
Scary, Come On Man, Even If Your
Brother Is The President Of The US,
You Overstep The Line,
(I can only wish good luck to you,
for I know pretty well, I have
a sinister side, once you awake it.
Death May Not Be Surprising.)
So Once Again, Good Luck To
Those Who Provoke Me.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
When Things Start To Hit The Bottom,
They Usually Bounce Up Again.
But What If, There Is No Bottom?
So It Just Keep Falling And Falling.
Born Alone, Lived Alone,
Suffered Alone, Die Alone~
This phase which i read it somewhere
has always cling on to me.
It has a significant logic that somehow
hurt me and make me felt better.
Only When The Grave Are Dug,
And The Coffin Is Buried,
Then Only Mistakes Are Realized~
How many times did I broke our promises?
How many times did I make her cry?
How many times did I Disappointed her?
Where is she now?
Why didn't I treasured her concern?
Love, A Bliss Or Abyss? ~
Monday, March 30, 2009
In My Whole Life.
Fate Took Every Reasons To Live Away From Me.
Fate Took The One I Love So Much.
The One Who Did So Much For Me Yet Suffered.
Why?
Fate Thrown Me To Peirce Secondary School.
A Place Full Of Betrayals And Fake Smile.
Is It Because Of Retribution That I Disbanded
A Gang For A Girl?
Or Is It Because Fate Find It Funny?
Peirce Secondary Has Many People In Need Of Help.
I Offered To Help.
Patch People Who Fought Up.
Listen To Their Sorrows.
Help Them Do Stuff.
But In The End, What Did I Get In Return?
Attitudes.
Betrayals.
Ignorance.
Arrogance.
Sabotages.
Backstabbing.
Badmouthed.
Framed.
What Did I Do?
Nothing. Just Sit In Canteen And Listen.
Listen To People Sharing Information.
So That It's Possible To Use This To Help Others.
But No One Cares Really.
Like As If They Care When Their Ass Is Not On Fire.
They Think That I Am Okay When I Smile.
I Don't Even Know Whether I Am Really Smiling.
They Complained And Compared Their Injuries To Mine.
Do I Need To Dig Out My Heart To Tell You I Am Sick?
Cardio-Deterioration.
Like Fuck Why I Had It?
They Isolate Me Because I Am A Half Korean.
Well I Guess Koreans Will Isolate Me For Being Half SG.
They Broke Down And Scream Fuck You At Me.
Whenever They Got Ditch,Dumped,Ignored.
Like As If I Was The One Doing It.
At Least The One You Like Or Love Is Alive.
Where's Mine?
Somewhere Up There? Or Down there?
Or There Is No Such Thing As Afterlife.
They Live On Their Life Without Feeling Guilty.
I Felt Guilty For Those People Who Died,
Who Played With The Tarot Cards,
Which My Cursed Hand Draw The Death Card.
Why Am I Still Alive?
Fine I Attempt Suicide Before.
Trying To Finnish The Whole Tab Of Medication.
Which Was Used To Roughly Stabilize My Heart.
Running Non Stop In The Rain Screaming.
Crying Every Night, Pretending Everyday.
Just To Make Sure No One Got Worried.
So In The End.
Fate Find It Amusing.
And I Bet Fate Has More To Torture Me.
Before Ending My Life.
But,
I Will Never Give Up.
For The Girl I Love Before,
Who Taught Me How To Live,
Who Would Comfort Me When I Am Down.
Who Would Cry For Me When I Did Wrong.
My Life Is Worth Living For Her.
No,
I Have No Life At All.
This Is Her Life, Not Mine.
I Have No Authority Over This.
Til The Day I Finally Lie In The Coffin.
I Will Just Brace On.
Throw Me Any Fuck Nonsense You Have.
I Will Never Surrender To You Fate.
So Let's Move On,
Whether I Like It Or Not.
My Life Is For Helping Others,
Even If It Take My Life.
For She Did The Same Thing For Me.
XinLing,
I Hated And Loved You,
For What You Done.
But I Will Never Forget,
The Last Few Words,
You Told Me.
The Few Promises We Made.
And Lastly, The Tears You Shed,
For A Loser Like Me.
Hold On, As Soon As I Am Done,
I Join You Where Ever You Are.
Signed
Lein Septerra~
Saturday, March 07, 2009
5 Push up per minute late, start counting at 8.30am sharp
Reached school at 9.25am, so I was 55mins late,
5 X 55 = 275 PUSH UPS!!!!
Yep, before I can join the team in the hall for training,
I was being punished by Miss Hong (VBall Teacher)
for arriving school late, ChunFai was also late, same time
reach school, but he got reasons, he need to sent someone
off at the airport in the morning and he rushed back school.
Poor ChunFai, 275push ups, plus training and homework,
I bet he will be sleeping at his Alumni Gala dinner tonight.
Well that is that, I seriously need to train hard for A
Division next year, and of course study hard to get in SC.
Went to WestMall eat Sakae Sushi with ChunFai, then took
Mrt back to Amk(WHY IS IT RAINING?!!).
Took bus home and immediately stone at computer.
Haiz feeling so hungry and down now, don't know what
shall i do tomorrow.
Mortals Try So Hard To Stay Alive
But Alas, Death Will Still Greet Them.
Tarot Card No 14 ~ Death 死亡上帝
Friday, March 06, 2009
Yep Yep Another tiring week of school,
and already broke one of my glasses ,
V stands For VICTORY!
So after all persistence and determination
is what I needed to convince Mr Ting.
So he agreed to help me change class,
but under the condition that 09s4 does
not get filled up to 30+ by advance students.
DUN FAIL UR COMMON TEST PLS!
Anyway It's was MI Sport Fiesta &
Peirce Cross Country today, so let me
split this into two.
__________________________________
Millennia Institute's Sports Fiesta 2009
Firstly, I apparently forgot about the sports
fiesta event is today, so i brought all my notes
and forgot to bring P.E attire.(Not going volley,
needed to rush back to Peirce for CrossCountry)
So betrayed my onyx house, I ran over to
Sapphire house and sit beside my cousin.
QiaoYing was there also, she is wearing this
cheer leading outfit that look kinda funny,
so i was listening to my psp songs til she kick me,
(It hit my rib btw......) and asked me why I so emo.
( Okay I was indeed emo-ing but I can't just say
out loud that I was emo-ing) So i just smile and
say my cousin here , so equals no emo haha.
(Score Given By 6 Members Beside Me )
Cheer Leading Marks ( 0~6 per Judge)
Garnet 31
Sapphire 30
Onyx 28
Zircon 25
Well it's seem there was a unpopular
member in zircon that somehow pissed
the judges off.(Well who cares?)
Anyway GOOD JOB QY WOO~
Back to topic, there only 2 events
that caught my eye only, Bossa ball
and track races, particularly sleeping
throughout the whole fiesta.
Today was also PeiShan's birthday,
HBD PeiShan! Prepare a surprise for
her, hope she like the present we all
folk out for her.
Well It's kinda late now, so i continue
shall continue tomorrow.
__________________________________
Peirce Secondary School Annual Cross Country
Okay fine I know I was late, but hey at least I
ran as well.Well I saw a lot of old friends
came but did not run, haha my It Juniors is
still the best people to see after graduation,
have a little chat with Ms Hong (SecSch Teacher)
and Desmond, apparently Ms Hong Is amused
by my admission to MI and the course I took.
Also met Huiyue, Shuting, Deirdre,
SineYi, Esther, Hong Jie & Jonathan.
(You Owe Me My Score Jonathan Grrrrr)
Went Lan With Desmond and his juniors
then met up with ChunFai and Prince J
at ToaPayoh, eat dinner, chat about VBall
and went home. Took same bus with
Prince J and he attempted to lie to me that
Ayumi Hamasaki was his girlfriend. . . .
Well Tired Day eh? See 7/3/09 post
Could You .......................
Accept And Mend My Broken Heart?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
So the class banding is out,
and yea i got into my S102 combination.
And instead of getting to 09S4,
the class with all my study partners,
I got into 09S7. A Class full of too
friendly people. They are sociable,
but not idea classmates if you really
want to study super hard.
So I tried to appeal to the teacher
-in-charge of class banding, Mr Ting.
I wrote one A4 page full proposal.
(thanks MsHong For This precious gift)
Mr Ting just give a brief explanation,
and just dismissed my appeal.
So defeated, I approached my form
teacher, Mr Ang , he at least listen
to my whole explanation, and suggest
to me that he will try address it to
the class. So chances of changing class?
0.002%. Afterward I went to consult
our PreU1 Head, Mr Jaron Pow,
and he apologize and explained
why we cannot change class.
It was the fear of other people
changing class as well, and give me
this excuses that make freaking
agitated and frustrated.
"The school is giving you
opportunities to get use to
environments that you are not
use to it. So next time when you
are working, you will get use to it."
Like HELLO? I AM A STUDENT!
I WANT TO STUDY? NOT WORK?
Even if I work, i doubt i need to sit
down and listen to a lecture everyday
with colleagues disturbing me?
My only hope lies with my form teacher,
and perhaps our principal, Mr Tan.
Fate is Cruel, Unfair & Unpredictable. . .
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Tiring Week I Should Say,
Welcome To 2009! It's Quite Awhile
Since I Last Posted, Pretty Busy
Actually, Trying To Play Last
Minutes Games Before School Reopen.
Millennia Institute, Yep That's Where
I Was Posted To By Moe Jae Program.
Quite A Good School, We Have Lots
Of L1R5 < 15 Students In Our School,
Which Means Our School Is Gaining
Popularity. Our School Is Considered
As Moe Government School, Just That
We Are A Special 3 Years Jc Courses.
For Those People Who Keep Telling Me
Millennia Sucks Or Something Like That,
Millennia Institute Has A Quite A High
Percentage Of Students Graduating To
Local University, Around 20+% Pass
Their A Levels And Proceed To
Local University. ^^Millennia Institute Imperio 2009
This Is Our Theme For Our
Orientation For The PreU 1.
Imperio Stands For Empire
In Italian, And There Are 4
Groups In This Orientation.
Trojan,Roman, Athenian &
Macedonian. I Am In
Macedonian Group 3.
Quite A Nice Group,
Just A Little Too Quiet.
Make Quite Alot Of New
Friends, Jonathan, Ryan
Chun Fai, Joel And Sanjiv.
And There Is This OGL
Called QiaoYing, Funny
Senior I Should Say,
Jonathan Declare Her As
His Arch Enemy From
Day 1 (As In Joking One),
Then We Keep Disturbing
Her, The Most Funny Part
Is When She Was Promoting
Her CCA(Wushu)To The Whole School,
She Forgot Her Lines And I Finnish
It For Her And She Start Giggling.
(I Was Sitting Right In Front Of Her)
Well, Good Start In A Good School,
Let's Hope It Stay That Way Til
I Graduate From MI~
Love Is All About Making The
Girl You Like Happy.
That's What I Called True Love~
